“ If I see one more picture of someone’s coffee with a heart in it, I’m going to kill myself! ”

“ I have more water than Africa. ”

“ The last text message I got was of a palm tree, from Sebastian. ”

“ If I had a penis, it would be fucking huge. ”

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In reference to a broadway wannabe:

“GTFO you talentless whore. Fuckin shit.”

”

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Regarding volunteering and charity:

“I would donate a blanket, because it’s cold in the winter.”
-Sahra

Martha: “It’s fucking eighty degrees outside.”

”

“ Now everyone is going to think I’m a drunk bitch. ”

“ My body is like, “hey fuck you im not doing anything,” and my mind is like “ohay do your mf-ing hw. ”